i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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