If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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