I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
