sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
