my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
