I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Text me some of your sweat
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
