I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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