"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
