Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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