Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
