so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
