You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My bed smells like the plague
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
