Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I puked a lego.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize