you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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