yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
