Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
