Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize