I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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