Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
