I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
