dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
