yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
