You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
