I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
