why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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