My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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