He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
