I'm going to jail i love you
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
