Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize