So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
