matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
