First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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