make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
