my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
