Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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