nutella sex= disaster
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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