You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
