Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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