oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize