oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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