I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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