Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
