i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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