In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
too bad you live with your parents still
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize