I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
