i just wanna soil my oats bro
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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