Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
