So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Someone shattered a urinal.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize