Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
