Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
All the doctor said was why
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
