apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
