he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
