No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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