Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I understand Curling. That high.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
