I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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