Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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