I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
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