i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
