I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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