If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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