All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
