just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
