Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
