this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
