Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize