spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize