smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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