You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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