Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
