shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize