That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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