Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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